Guiding Values
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Guiding Values

In this article, I would like to explore the concept of values by determining what they are, why they are essential, and how to find yours.

Read More
Will I Be Bored When I Quit Drinking?
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Will I Be Bored When I Quit Drinking?

Alcohol dulls the edges of life and dilutes our adventure. Alcohol can distract and numb, but those effects aren’t specific in their focus. It numbs us to everything. I’d say alcohol plays a very big role in us being bored.

Read More
Drinking Self, Sober Self, and Summer Vacation
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Drinking Self, Sober Self, and Summer Vacation

Alcohol will be present at most summer gatherings. If you are trying to be alcohol-free, questions like the ones above will pop into your head, and desires to partake in boozy bacchanalias will arise. We would be fooling ourselves into thinking otherwise.

Read More
“Do You Mind if I Have a Drink?”
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

“Do You Mind if I Have a Drink?”

Contrary to the media portrayal, many sober people are not constantly teetering between sobriety and utter debauchery. Many of us are liberated from the grip of alcohol, and it no longer has a hold on our minds.

Read More
Rebuilding Trust in Our Sober Self with Micro Habits.
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Rebuilding Trust in Our Sober Self with Micro Habits.

Making the firm commitment to stop drinking was a great first step, but was just the start. The rebuilding of my shattered self-trust and my inner kingdom was the next task. It had to be done if I was to get the most out of my alcohol-free journey.

Read More
Kingdom of Characters
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Kingdom of Characters

For anyone trying to change nonbeneficial habits like drinking, there can be a cacophony of inner voices, urges, and feelings that pull us in many directions. By giving them names, forms, and personalities, I have found that I can better talk with and understand them.

Read More
Internal Family Systems and Our Sober Journey
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Internal Family Systems and Our Sober Journey

When we stop drinking, we have to contend with the parts of ourselves that saw alcohol as an effective method to cope with our exiled parts. It can feel like many voices wanting to be heard all at once. With practice and attention, we can separate and listen to these parts.

Read More
Benefits and Methods of Mindfulness
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Benefits and Methods of Mindfulness

As for tangible results, I have tested my blood pressure readings numerous times. After a twenty-minute meditation session, I have recorded anywhere from a 3 to 10-point drop in the ‘before’ reading numbers. This stuff really works!

Read More
Devil on the Shoulder
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Devil on the Shoulder

Today I want to explore what it would mean to reframe our view of the “devil” from an adversary to an advisor. Let’s see if we can better understand this relationship and develop it into something beneficial to us.

Read More
Happiness vs Aliveness
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

Happiness vs Aliveness

Hardship, darkness, and tribulations are just as much a part of our journey as it is for the characters of our favorite stories. We do ourselves a disservice by not fully embracing them or trying to numb them or shoving them down.

Read More
How Friendships Change When You Quit Drinking: Your Responsibilities
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

How Friendships Change When You Quit Drinking: Your Responsibilities

Your responsibility, first and foremost, is to yourself. You are on a challenging and exciting adventure, one in which you will figure out who you are without alcohol. You will face ideas, emotions, and entities within yourself that you have repressed. It will take time to rediscover who you are.

Read More
How Friendships Change When You Quit Drinking: Your Friend’s POV
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

How Friendships Change When You Quit Drinking: Your Friend’s POV

When we decide to quit drinking, we inadvertently hold up a mirror to our friends. They may already have a nagging voice in their head telling them to get their shit together. Our actions have now amplified that voice. Through no fault of our own, we have now reflected light into their darkness that they may not be ready to view.

Read More
How Friendships Change When You Quit Drinking: The Basics
Cole Harvey Cole Harvey

How Friendships Change When You Quit Drinking: The Basics

Without a doubt going alcohol-free takes us on a challenging journey and alters our inner landscape. On top of that, it also changes our outward surroundings as we interact with the broader world of our social groups. Today, we will lay the groundwork for this four-part series, starting with some basic ideas: genetic hardwiring, societal stigmas, and the first friend groups to fall away.

Read More