Happiness vs Aliveness
What do you want?
When asked this question, I would give the usual and vague answer of, “I want to be happy.” I didn’t stop to think about what “being happy” actually meant, but I felt there was something beyond it.
I couldn’t quite put my finger on what I was looking for until I listened to Brooke Castillo. In episode #363 of The Life Coach School podcast, she distinguished between the state of happiness and the state of aliveness.
“Aliveness!” That was the word I had been looking for!
To grow requires constant change, it requires us to keep moving forward so that our lives keep flowing.
Castillo proposed that just being in a happy state “can rob us of a life where we truly expand, evolve, and live our lives.” She goes on to say, “Those with the most aliveness keep being willing to grow and pursue new things.”
When I thought about this, I realized that I had been seeking aliveness and growth more than happiness and contentment.
“I think that what we’re seeking is an experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances with our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.”
The land of “happily ever after” is kind of boring.
Think about it, in fairy tales, the adventure and the growth of the protagonist drive our interest in the story in the first place. We are there to read about their encounters, travails, and triumphs.
Hardship, darkness, and tribulations are just as much a part of our journey as it is for our heroes. We do ourselves a disservice by rejecting or numbing our darker moments; however, that’s where we will feel most alive. That’s where we evolve. As Rumi states:
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Invite them in.
I’m not saying that being happy is wrong or misguided. In fact, I agree with the great Bobby McFerrin when he said, “Don’t worry, be happy.”
I am saying that happiness is an emotion, and emotions are fleeting by their very nature. Trying to hold onto happiness, attaching to something so ephemeral, can cause undue suffering.
I am proposing that feeling Alive is a slightly higher state. Aliveness is embracing, feeling, and exploring all we encounter on our journey. It encourages the growth and the change and adventure that is “the rapture of being alive.”
P.S.
You deserve to be the best version of yourself and all that entails. If you would like 1:1 coaching around any issue, I have spots available and am honored to listen and lend help. Always feel free to reach out to me or anyone if you have questions or concerns.
P.P.S.
If you would like to get in touch with yourself and see the world through a different lens, try my free seven-day journal course, Get Your Bearings. It is something that I am very proud to share with you, and I would love to know what you think about it.
