Urge Surfing, or Defense Against the 4-Finger Death Punch.
I clocked out of my shift in the kitchen and had a seat at the bar. After a day of flipping burgers, I just wanted to zone out, stare at the tv, and sip my club soda with lime.
It was well over a year into my alcohol-free journey at this point, and I hardly had any instances of craving. I had worked through many but apparently, not all of my triggers.
It turns out I was about to have a teachable moment…
A paying customer took a seat a few stools down and ordered four fingers of Basil Hayden neat. At that moment, an urge arose like I had not felt in a long time. Old patterns and behavioral pathways began to fire as my subconscious conjured up memories of that top-shelf booze.
My brain began to romanticize the toxic liquid as I watched it pour into the glass. Even at the other end of the bar, I could smell the whiskey, and an almost Pavlovian response occurred within me.
The sensations were powerful. Its familiar flavor appeared on my taste buds. I could imagine the burn in my throat and the warmth it would create hitting my stomach.
Urges can be strong and cause tremendous discomfort. We can’t control when they show up, but we can control our response.
That four-fingers neat was like the four-finger death punch wielded by some villain out of a cheesy kung-fu flick. It created an urge, a craving that caught me unawares and walloped me. But it didn’t knock me down.
As you move on your path, you will develop powerful defenses and skills.
I had an effective counter move to this four-finger death punch: urge surfing.
The craving built up like a wave ready to break, but urge surfing allowed me to ride its intensity instead of being battered by it.
“The resistance that you put up to your cravings causes as much or more difficulty as the cravings themselves”
As I sat there on the barstool, I became curious about my feelings and thoughts. I asked myself, where had this craving originated? I explored my long-held romantic notions and past behavioral patterns. I acknowledged my own experiences that had put me in this spot.
The urge seemed tumultuous at that moment, but surfing the urge allowed me to move with the discomfort it was causing rather than resist it. In doing so, I found where the sensations were in my physical body; I sat with them and squirmed in their unpleasantness. It wasn’t too long until the wave of craving and discomfort dissipated.
Move with it. Flow with it. Examine it. Don’t resist it.
It’s like a hijacked part of our brain is doing all it can to get what it wants. In these intense and uncomfortable moments, it is important to remember that the craving is all bark and no bite.
A craving can’t actually make you do anything.
If we let the urge rant and rave and roar for a few minutes without acquiescing, it will disappear. By riding out the urge even once, we gain self-confidence and strength. We see what we are capable of, and its power over us diminishes a little. We then have a win on which to build the next time it happens.
P.S.
You deserve to break free from the substances that hold you back. You deserve to be the best version of yourself, and all that entails. If you would like 1:1 coaching around any issues you may have with alcohol, I have spots available and am honored to listen and lend help. Always feel free to reach out to me or anyone if you have questions or concerns.
P.P.S.
If you would like to get in touch with yourself and see the world through a different lens try my free seven-day journal course, Get Your Bearings. It is something that I am very proud to share with you and would love to know what you think about it.
