Drinking Self, Sober Self, and Summer Vacation
What’s a summer vacation without day-long cocktail hours and bottomless bloody Mary brunches? Why not share that five-dollar fishbowl margarita with our bestie as we pontificate on the patio?
Alcohol will be present at most summer gatherings. If you are trying to be alcohol-free, questions like the ones above will pop into your head, and desires to partake in boozy bacchanalias will arise. We would be fooling ourselves into thinking otherwise.
We have a part that doesn’t give a tinker’s damn about being alcohol-free. From barbeques and ball games to road trips and reunions, it tells us that these events require alcohol.
On the other hand, we have a part of us that knows why we don’t want to drink. It sees us enjoying the summer with total presence and joy. This part of us understands that we can take our power back from booze and don’t actually need it.
These separate factions create the mental agitation of cognitive dissonance within us. One way to mitigate this is to simply observe our inner dialogue and listen to those parts telling us these stories.
Our parts work hard, sometimes in the shadows, to keep us protected.
Our drinking self wants to be heard. In my case, that part of me had been on the clock non-stopped for years, keeping me drinking. It was an unconscious part, just doing its job until I could connect with it.
As we connect, we can honor the part that sought alcohol to cope, to relax, to be sociable. A way to understand its role is to ask questions like:
Why does it want to drink?
What does it think we will be missing if we stay alcohol-free?
How long has it been at this job of getting us to use alcohol the way we have?
Sit with and really hear the answers that come back. We can then voice our appreciation for the efficient and tireless role this part has taken on.
Next, explain to our drinking part that we want to try a new way and would like to take the driver’s seat for a while. Let’s invite it to come along for the ride and show it we can step out of old habits and patterns to create something better.
Directing these types of questions and conversations inwardly can be awkward at first. We might feel silly or crazy. I understand that. It was a practice that was strange to me initially but has been immensely beneficial.
I would invite you to use playful curiosity and earnestly experiment with this idea to see what results you get.
I wish you happiness and insights as you explore your inner space this summer!
