Climbing the Ladder of Our Beliefs
“Why don’t you just quit drinking?”
If you have rolled your eyes at this question before, I get it. I have as well.
I had intertwined my identity with alcohol for so long that I could not see myself as a non-drinker.
If, back in my drinking days, I had been told to ‘just stop drinking’ or ‘you don’t need booze,’ I would have dismissed that message outright.
Change happens incrementally.
Getting out from under the thumb of such an addictive substance can be difficult. This is a harsh Truth to acknowledge but thinking your alcohol-free journey will be only rainbows and unicorn farts isn’t helpful either.
Knowing we need to change our relationship with alcohol but not knowing how to do it causes terrible mental turmoil. To jump from that state of mind to ‘I am completely free from alcohol’ is unrealistic and unbelievable.
If the thought is unbelievable, then change won’t occur.
Our ladder of belief.
Let’s look at our beliefs like a ladder. If we start with a thought like ‘we will always be a drinker,’ immediately trying to believe the opposite of this statement will seem absurd.
We are near the bottom rungs and can’t immediately jump to the highest ones. We must take our time and move toward a rung/belief that we can grab and make use of.
Start from where you are.
In the example of ‘I will always be a drinker,’ the top rung on that ladder would be ‘I am completely free of alcohol.’ That is a tough place to get to if you don’t believe it. So, what would be a positive yet more believable thought we could work with?
A rung that is closer and more manageable could be ‘It is possible for me to explore being alcohol-free,’ or ‘I am beginning to see that I have the capacity to change,’ or even ‘I am choosing to believe I will always be a drinker.’
In a case like this, we may continue drinking for a while. That’s fine because now we are setting the intention to become more aware of our thoughts, emotions, and actions around alcohol.
Trust the process.
Just becoming aware and setting the intention to learn about yourself is a great place to start. Learning about the stories of others, incorporating different perspectives, and acquiring new tools all begin to move us up the ladder of our beliefs.
The change will happen if we keep making an effort to move one rung at a time. The process will take as long as it takes, and it will cause an effective and lasting change.
