Sobriety and Shifting Values
“Anything that changes your values, changes your behavior”
When I was lost in the boozy backcountry, my actions and choices were a distorted reflection of my personal values. Taking a break from alcohol allowed me the time to reconnect with my values and course-correct my actions to better mirror what I held as important.
In last week’s article, we established our values. This week I would like to expand on that topic and explore what happens when our values change because of a significant life event like ceasing to use a harmful substance.
Shifting Sands
I think that periods of shifting values are natural phases of life for everyone. Sometimes these cycles come at us abruptly. The readjustment periods seem to be a bit more arduous in these instances.
Perhaps you have noticed a shift in your values now that you have some weeks or months without alcohol. For instance, you once valued socializing and gratification, and now you value solitude and self-discovery.
Arrested Development.
I have an untested hypothesis: Alcohol can arrest our development. If someone has been self-medicating with booze since age 20, and they are now 40, they are operating on values that are two decades old.
They are still holding on to old values that no longer serve them, causing discomfort, uncertainty, and frustration. It is like having growing pains. The old values no longer fit because sobriety allows for the growth and expansion of their consciousness. Again, just a hypothesis.
Lateral shift.
Our values don’t have to take a complete one-eighty either. I valued self-care even when I was drinking and a part of me was using alcohol to express that value, albeit in a very twisted way. I still value self-care, but I pursue it through better means: being in nature, meditation, and writing.
Likewise, you may always have valued things like new experiences and friendship only now do you express them in a worthwhile manner.
Freedom from alcohol helped expand my value system to include health, creativity, adventure, and emotional literacy, to name a few. It could also be the case that I valued these things all along, and without alcohol separating me from them, I could now live them.
P.S.
If you feel that getting coaching around reducing alcohol’s role in your life is right for you, I would be happy to offer you a free 30-minute call. You can schedule a time that works for you by clicking here. Let’s get started making alcohol an insignificant part of your life!
