Sober October: My Last Attempt.
If you have stayed alcohol-free this month, you have gotten further than I did in my last attempt at a Sober October!
I made it all of twelve days, and then my last remaining grandparent died. Of course, I used that as an excuse to drink; why wouldn’t I at that point in my life? I wanted to numb those uncomfortable feelings.
You might say, “Well, that is perfectly reasonable to have a drink at a time like that.” And you would be right, sort of…
For that past version of me, drinking would have been a reasonable response. He didn’t know any better and was doing the best he could with the tools he had.
We can’t deny that, for a very brief window of time, alcohol does numb us to these things. That is why so many people get addicted to the substance because it is a means of self-medicating.
That version of me didn’t have the wherewithal to realize that alcohol would not make those feelings vanish. He didn’t have years of alcohol-free experience to demonstrate that he could handle any situation without reaching for a substance to cope.
He still bought into the societal idea that you drink booze to deal with sadness, grief, and loss, not knowing that significant life events weren’t a reason to drink; instead, they were an invitation to experience the events healthily, fully feeling whatever emotions showed up.
Am I saying that going 30 days AF will equip you with all the knowledge and tools you need to navigate life’s challenges without feeling a desire for booze? No. That takes time and experience. That takes curiosity and a willingness to feel all the feelings, all the joy, all the pain, all the boredom, and all the uneasiness that every human has had to deal with.
What a 30-day break will do is get you started on that path of liberation from alcohol. It will instill a modicum of awareness around your triggers, feelings, and habits. It will rebuild trust in yourself and remind you just how powerful you are.
And I bet that you are starting to see that by now: You have power over your triggers, you can choose how you feel, and you can change your old habits.
Finally, a couple of tactics for your journey:
Change your state: Changing our physiological state when engulfed in cravings and triggers helps alleviate them. Get your heart rate up with burpees, chopping wood, or taking a cold shower. Or relax by taking a hot bath, scheduling a float session, or drawing. Come up with a list of things that interest you that can change your physical state.
They don’t get a vote: This one is courtesy of Jocko Willink. You rule your kingdom. Your cravings and triggers are your subjects. They can enter the great hall and have their say, but you are the King/Queen who makes the decision, not them. They don’t get a vote.
