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Holiday Loneliness

December 05, 2022•2 min read

“The loneliness you feel is actually an opportunity to reconnect with others and yourself.”
— Maxime Lagace

For many people, this time of year can really amplify the feeling of loneliness. For one reason or another, we may have found ourselves in mental, emotional, or geographical isolation.

Not everyone can spend the holidays with loved ones; maybe you are in that situation this year. Loneliness can be a significant trigger to drink or numb ourselves in other ways. Still, there are other avenues for dealing with the loneliness that can actually bring us some joy.

Invite it in.

We can start by getting curious about our loneliness. Invite it in; sit with it. Can you let it be and relax into it? Feeling that feeling and all it brings up for you is okay. It is perfectly safe because it can’t hurt you.

Curiosity alchemizes anxiety. You can’t be in these states of mind and curiosity simultaneously.

DIY potluck

In my seasonal working days, I had several Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays that I didn’t get to spend with family or friends; however, there were times when a handful of us itinerant ne’er-do-wells would cook up a dish or two, bring a dirty Santa gift, and get together for holiday festivities.

We took it upon ourselves to put together our own gathering. We threw our own shindig despite being long distances from familiar faces. You might have some neighbors or coworkers or your favorite barista who is solo for the holidays. Drum up some buzz with them, plan your own holiday bash, and make merry.

Feelin’ Zoomie.

Facetime, Skype, and Zoom are all platforms we can use to connect with friends and family. If you are far from home this holiday season, have your family set their laptop or tablet on the table for a virtual dinner. Do the same thing on Christmas morning while the fam is unwrapping gifts!

Volunteer

One thing that can alleviate the feeling of loneliness is volunteering. Homeless shelters, food pantries, and local missions need help during the holidays. It is an excellent opportunity to connect with a community of heart-centered people.

It gets you out of your head, dispels unhelpful feelings, and puts you into the true holiday spirit by actually serving others.

Reframe

Can you view the holidays as an opportunity rather than a misfortune?

You get the opportunity to show up as a new version of yourself. You get the chance to be curious about any feelings of loneliness that may arise. You get to create connections with others in a way that you might not have considered before.

And that’s what it is about: Connection. It is the key. Along with a curious mind and an open heart, connection is an antidote to loneliness.

I wish you all the best, glad tidings, good cheer, and a wonderful holiday season!

Cole Harvey

Cole Harvey is a coach, educator, and podcast host who helps people rethink their relationship with alcohol and reconnect with themselves. Through coaching and IFS-informed practices, he guides clients in understanding the inner conflicts, beliefs, and protective patterns that keep them stuck so they can move forward with greater clarity, confidence, and self-trust.