Releasing Expectations.
One day a traveler encountered a local farmer along the road and asked, “What are the people like in the town up ahead?”
The farmer asked, “What were the people like in the town you came from?”
“They were miserable, stingy, small-minded people,” replied the traveler.
“Well,” said the farmer, “that is how the people are in the town up the road.”
A couple of days later, another traveler met the farmer on the road and asked, “What are the people like in the town up ahead?”
The farmer responded, “What are the people like in the town you came from?”
This traveler said, “They were an open, loving, and caring folk.”
“Well,” said the farmer, “that is how the people are in the town up the road.”
This parable points to a seeming truth about our conscious minds: that our expectations create our reality. I believe that statement, even if it has become a trite platitude amongst the self-help community.
For better and worse, we use our past experiences and assumptions to make sense of present circumstances and what to expect from them.
I know from my own experience, though, that to leap from being lost in a bottle to believing an alcohol-free life is all roses and buttercups would have been unrealistic. Those expectations would have also set me up for a much more difficult journey.
Every person’s road to freedom from alcohol is unique and personal. Expectations of how that journey should be are like a filter that distorts the reality of our experience. Releasing expectations removes the filter and frees us from the “shoulds” of how our sobriety ought to progress.
What if there was a third traveler in this parable who is aware of his thoughts, feelings, and actions that arise because of his expectations? What if this traveler has let go of expectations of how the journey ahead will be and simply observes each moment as it arises?
We can be this third traveler releasing any preconceived notions and experiencing our journey from a more authentic place—unfiltered by expectations and past experiences.
We can unburden ourselves of the “shoulds” and the disappointment that expectations— good or bad— create thereby allowing us a less filtered experience to observe and learn and grow.
P.S.
I know how it feels to even think about reaching out to someone. It doesn’t mean you are weak or broken. It shows you dare to change your own life.
I am happy to coach you on this topic, and I have spots open. You can schedule a free and completely confidential call by clicking here. There is no obligation in this call. We will discuss where you are, where you would like to be, and if you think working with me would be a good fit. I look forward to hearing from you
