6 Tips For Enjoying Holiday Gatherings Without Drinking

You can avoid booze at holiday functions and still have a wonderful time.

 The holiday season is upon us, and we will soon be going to office parties, attending soirees, and mingling with friends and families whether we want to or not! There is no doubt that booze will play a major role in many of these gatherings and if you have made the commitment to go alcohol free recently, this could present a challenge to you.  I want to let you know that it ain’t as bad as your mind is telling you it will be.

I have always loved the holiday season especially Christmas! I am one of those people who start playing classic Christmas music and putting up lights in November. I love giving gifts and cooking meals for folks. I used to up my alcohol intake during these times because I thought it made this time of year even more enjoyable.

Now I don’t see what I found so enjoyable about having a crushing hangover on Christmas Day. I have found that I have a deeper appreciation for the season without the effects of alcohol numbing my body and mind. Without the irritability and anxiety brought on by booze, I am able to truly revel in the spirit, joy, and good tidings this holiday brings.

I know many folks are not as stoked about this time of year as I am. I also realize a lot of us feel that we need a truck load of alcohol to get us through holiday gatherings with people we that we may not enjoy. I would like to propose that there is great insight that can be garnered from these holiday interactions if you don’t dull and numb yourself with booze.

For those of us who have made the commitment to go alcohol free and might still be in the early stages, this article of tips and tactics can be helpful. Even if you are well seasoned in the alcohol-free lifestyle this can be a nice refresher for you.

In the two weeks that follow I will write articles geared towards those of us who may have a touch of social anxiety as well. Stay tuned for those posts. But for now, I will focus specifically on those of us who are alcohol free and lay out 6 easy and fun tips for navigating holiday functions without the bottle.

1) Have a plan.

Your imagination is a great power to harness.

Peer into the crystal ball that is your imagination and use its amazing power.  Before you ever go to one of these functions you can project into the future and play it all out in your mind.

Find a quiet comfortable place, sit down and relax into a meditative state. In that state you can play forward how you would like the proceedings to go down. Let the scene be as vivid as possible by incorporating your feelings and emotions into the projection. See yourself laughing and having a good time. Hear yourself in conversation with others and enjoying their company.

You may also want to write out questions and scenarios. For example, how long to do you plan on sticking around? Is this an event like a dinner party that requires a longer time frame or is it an event that people might filter in and out of?  You might have several people that you  would like to talk to so you could make them a priority.  Be surgical in how you navigate the event. See yourself weaving through the crowd and conversing with folks.  

Enjoy the planning stage, it can be fun!

2) Write Your Script.

Rehearse your lines before you get on stage.

What are you going to say when you are asked about why you are not drinking? There are plenty of ways to go about this and do whatever is comfortable to you.

Maybe you want to fib a little and say that you are on medication/ antibiotics or that you are driving. That’s cool, especially if you are not yet comfortable with truly talking about why you aren’t drinking.

Maybe you really want to own it and put it out there that you are taking a break from booze. Go for it! Something you might say is “Alcohol was taking far more than it was giving so I am taking a break” or “My relationship with alcohol was like a toxic boy/girlfriend and I want to live life without it.”

You can also use humor and keep it light. Make a joke and be self-deprecating. I will sometimes say something like “I went hard in the paint for the last decade, so I thought I would give my body a break for a while.”

Deflect and get others to talking about themselves. If you get asked if you would like a drink you can say “Yes! I would love a coke, or water.” Or “No, I’m good right now, thank you!” Then start asking questions about them. We all love to talk about ourselves and you can really get others to yammering when you ask good questions with a genuine interest behind them.

3) Bring it!

 If you are being self-conscious about the fact you aren’t drinking and you are worried how others will perceive you, then this will affect your outward reality. Show up with good energy! Entering the party with a playful and engaging attitude will not only bring life to you but to the whole scene as well.

Here is an idea that can alleviate those self-conscious thoughts: No one is thinking about you more than you are! Most everyone is thinking about themselves most of the time. So, the fact that you aren’t drinking might be noticed but more than likely will not be a big deal to others.

Remember, it will be weird only if you make it weird.

4) Kreate-a-kit.

There are so many tasty options for AF drinks nowadays!

Have your own kit with you: sodas, teas, mixers, etc. You can bring your own AF bar with you and be stoked about what it is you are drinking. That goes back to the energy you show up with.  I have had some wonderful AF cocktails. All it takes is a quick browse on the ol’ interpipes to find some great non-alcoholic drink ideas.

There are some great companies like Seedlip and Ritual-not a paid advertisement- who are making tasty nonalcoholic spirits. There are also plenty of amazing AF beers. No longer are we relegated to O’douls. There are many great companies out there like Brewdog and Athletic Brewing that make many varieties of quality non-alcoholic beers. This is a great chance to get creative with it and try new options!

Just having a glass of something like a soda and lime in your hand is helpful. A lot of times in these situations I will carry my own yeti mug with me. I like them not only because people can’t really see what you are drinking but they also do a helluva job insulating your beverage. You will be sipping on that scalding hot tea for hours!

5) Play Like You Practice.

You can view it all as practice. Think of these social gatherings as a chance to work on your conversation and listening skills. Maybe you want to work on getting better at asking questions or you want to focus on your own inner dialogue. Remember, they call them skills for a reason because any skill, from listening to woodworking, takes practice. You probably will not be good at it right off the bat, especially if you have been avoiding social gatherings or think that booze helps you be more talkative.

See it as an opportunity to work on yourself. This is a great time to practice mindfulness and situational awareness. By not having your senses dulled by alcohol you will be more alert and attune to yourself and your surroundings. You can be curious as to how you are feeling and observe your thoughts as they are happening. Take note of these things like a scientist would keep track of data on an experiment, detached and objective. It’s like participation in the event itself without attachment to how you are making yourself feel.

6) Make Like a Banana and Split

There is nothing wrong with having an exit strategy

This is part of having a plan as well, an escape plan. One advantage you will have at these functions is you will always be ok to drive. This means that once you have gotten tired and are ready to split, then go! By attending these events alcohol free you might find that drunk people are actually boring and quite annoying. No point in dragging out the evening especially if you are one of the only sober folks in the place.

Maybe you are the designated driver. When you decide to go alcohol free this can be something you might feel obligated to do for your friends and family. Tis a noble gesture and if you love doing it, then go for it! It is always a comfort knowing that your sloshed friends will safely make it back home because you are the one who will be behind the wheel.

In committing to this know that you might have to play the part of mother hen when it comes time to leave. You might have to round up everyone and probably deal with their drunken protests. One thing you can do before hand is to lay down the law to everyone so that when you say let’s go, then that means let’s go!

Being somewhat of an introvert myself, the exit strategy is sometimes my favorite part of the evening. I can slip out whenever I want to. I get to make my rounds with the farewells, then gracefully exit the scene.

Home Free.

Hey, you made it back home! Take some time to assess the evening and how you felt.

You got through it without drinking! Congratulations! That is a big win, and you should feel good about yourself. You have gone through an interesting experiment, and I bet that you learned some things about yourself in the process. You might have had to adapt on the fly as the night went on, but I bet you managed to come out unscathed.

Now that you have gotten out of there, how do you feel? Was it all like you had envisioned before you got there?

My hope is that you are starting to see just how badass you are without the need of a social crutch like alcohol and just how empowering that is. No one expects you to get the hang of this in one go. It takes time and practice. There are other things involved like getting your mind right, committing to not drinking no matter what, and actually getting out the world and doing it. That is a huge step and one that only you can make. Be proud of yourself, learn from the experiences, and keep moving forward on you journey! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!

P.S.

If you would like help in navigating these situations or just want to talk about things, please reach out to me. I know that can be a difficult and uncomfortable step and I assure you I am here to hold a space free of judgment and shame so that you can explore and expand who you are. Here is a link to schedule a call if you would like. It is free and completely confidential. I wish you all the best on your journey!