More Lessons Learned from 2 Years Not Drinking
I would like you to understand that there is nothing special about me. My journey has not been a superheroic effort that only a few can accomplish. We each have the power and ability not only to stop drinking but to make alcohol irrelevant in our life. We can all break free from what grips us.
With that in mind, let’s continue with three more lessons that I have learned over the past two years of my journey.
1) Have good tools in your pack.
For years, the dark basement of my subconscious was where I locked away my self-loathing, doubts, and fears. Alcohol helped keep them there until it didn’t. These suppressed facets of my character demanded to be heard, and I realized I needed far better tools than alcohol to confront them.
We have to use what works for us in order to heal and move forward.
Journaling was like the swiss army knife of tools for me. Contained within it were honesty, curiosity, and compassion. These allowed for a deeper exploration into the darker characteristics that I had let control and defined who I was.
I started with the honest admission that I had these repressed traits. Curiosity was then necessary to question and explore what I uncovered in the shadows; it also kept me from identifying too much as them. Compassion for these darker aspects allowed me to accept and love them. I began healing them instead of detesting them, calming them instead of letting them run rampant.
2) Life gets real and stays real.
Removing that extra weight of alcohol meant reducing self-loathing, irritation, and anxiety.
I drank as a coping mechanism— avoiding problems both inner and outer. When I quit, the constant fog of alcohol lifted, and Life became more real. I was no longer numbed to my problems, but that didn’t mean they vanished. Instead they stood prominently on my path, allowing me the opportunity to engage them with a clear mind.
Leaving alcohol behind was like removing a load of rocks from my backpack. Obstacles arose, as they always do, but surmounting them was easier without the unnecessary burden of booze weighing me down.
3) It might take several attempts.
What made it so damn difficult to stop drinking was cognitive dissonance. Consciously, I wanted to quit, but I was fighting years of habit. Countless drinks had created deep neural pathways in my brain, conditioning my subconscious to view alcohol as the bee’s knees. The deck appeared stacked against me, and my failures at quitting seemed to prove it.
There were years of failed attempts along the way, but with each one, I learned and got a little stronger.
Those years of failed attempts were demoralizing. I spent hours berating myself. Having setbacks, however, doesn’t mean that we are failures; furthermore, we don’t need to beat ourselves up over these things. Remember that tool of compassion.
We would do better to view our setbacks not as failures but as lessons. Each attempt presents valuable information for understanding ourselves and the process.
We stumble, we fall, we hit the dirt.
We get back up, we dust off, and we keep going.
We become a little stronger, a little wiser.
Eventually, we take responsibility and reclaim our lives.
This journey is perpetual and ever-changing. Along this path, adaptation, resilience, and consistency are vital in freeing ourselves of something as insidious as alcohol. It takes courage to dive into the darkness, to understand just why this thing has so much power over us. But, we can take that power back; not only that, we are the only ones who can do it.
P.S.
You deserve to break free from the substances that hold you back. You deserve to be the best version of yourself and all that entails. If you would like 1:1 coaching around any issues you may have with alcohol, I have spots available and am honored to listen and lend help. Always feel free to reach out to me or anyone if you have questions or concerns.
